We're Goin' to Heaven, Clarence
by cas-the-unicorn
Summary: What if, when Crowley stabbed Meg, she didn't die, but turned human? Not expelled from the body, cured? How would season nine be? This has massive amounts of Megstiel, and spoilers for seasons eight and nine. It is rated T for mils language and violance. I don't own the picture, it is a screenshot from "Goodbye Stranger". I don't own the characters either, or the show.


"I can feel the two. Castiel may be hidden from me, but a demon's vessel is always a beacon."

Bartholomew twisted his chair around a little. These two were really getting on his nerves. Castiel and that abomination were gallivanting around the country, killing every angel that got in their way. Good angels! _His _angels! Yes, Bartholomew had sent those angels to kill them, but they could have at least had the courtesy to just expel them from the vessel or banish them! Wow, the nerve of those two.

"What do you suggest we do?" One of his angels asked him. He didn't remember her name, but damn, she was annoying.

"You can get the hell out of here and send the boys in here."

Her lips tightened. "Yes sir."

Five minutes later, Bartholomew had ten of his best soldiers standing in front of his desk. He hadn't wanted to use them, there were more important matters at hand, namely Malachi, but the situation was getting dire. The two outlaws may have been human, but they were still able to sense angels. His numbers were dwindling. To make matters worse, his angels seemed to realize that only _he_ was sending angels after the two, so only _his_ angels were getting killed. Many had already gone to Malachi, and more were about to. He needed to finish this.

—

"Cas, how many times do I have to tell you?! Metallica _sucks ass_."

"But Dean said-"

"To hell with what Dean said! We are listening to Green Day!"

"That is another music group, correct?"

"Yeah, one that we are now gonna listen to!"

Cas and Meg were on their way to Bismarck, North Dakota. The news had said that someone's insides had exploded, so they were going to investigate. It was most likely an angel. Also, Meg said that their was an amazing bar there.

Now that Cas was human, he really enjoyed alcohol. Not enough that every time he saw it he got 'wasted', as Meg called it, but if they saw a good bar, he wasn't going to pass it up. Meg didn't want to either.

Apparently, when Crowley had stabbed her when they were at Lucifer's crypt, she had turned human. Somehow. Cas assumed it had something to do with the fact that one of the symbols on the hilt being scratched, but he want absolutely sure. He was just glad she was human. Now that he was, too, they didn't need to worry about the angel demon controversy, they could just enjoy each other. By enjoy, he of course meant Meg teasing him about everything he did and Cas just going with it and unknowingly quoting pornos. Sometimes knowingly, but only about the pizza man.

They had been driving from Denver, Colorado, so after about eight hours of Cas driving about fifteen above the speed limit, they were there. It was midnight now, the perfect time for a drink. Unfortunately, they needed to deal with the angel death before they could burry themselves in alcohol then make out in the driver's seat. The second part had only happened four times. Out of six. Oops.

"Well, let's get this over with, Clarence. I could really use a beer."

They never got to have their beer.

They had just arrived at the scene of the death when Cas started feeling stiff. They both could sense them, but Cas's feeling was always more acute. Meg noticed him clenching his fists.

"Angels?"

Cas shut his eyes. "Probably just left over from this one. It was only yesterday."

"Let's keep an eye out anyway."

Cas opened his eyes and nodded.

The two investigated the body. Cas gasped a little when he realized who this had been. "This was Mihr. He was the angel of divine mercy, and the month of September." Cas sighed. "What did he do? Probably nothing. Mihr was kind. He was a good angel. He was not one for fighting, but when he did, he tried to kill quickly. He was also the reason that it rains so much in September. One year in Mesopotamia, half a city-state died because of a severe drought in September. He felt bad, so he made sure it would never happen again."

"He sounds good, Cas."

"He was."

"Yes, he was, until he refused to ally with the good side."

Cas and Meg whirled around. Ten angels stood in a semicircle around them. They must have flown in just then, or one of them would have noticed.

"Hello, Rahab," Cas said. The angel in the middle stepped forward.

"Hello, Castiel."

Meg laughed. "Come to kill us, I'm guessing. Under the orders of Bartholomew."

Rahab remained a void if emotion."You are correct, demon."

Meg sighed. "Oh, I'm not a demon anymore, sadly. Maybe I could have killed more of you dicks if I was."

"Please don't do this, Rahab." Cas asked.

"I must! You assisted Metatron in casting us out of heaven!"

"I did not assist him! He stole my grace!"

"Or you gave up your grace."

Cas' angel blade slid out. "Don't do this."

Rahab chuckled. "Goodbye, Castiel."

He lunged, along with the rest of the angels.

Meg went down first. She lasted about fifteen minutes, and killed three angels, but one of the stronger ones, not Rahab, but almost as powerful, stabbed her in the shoulder and dragged the blade down to the top of her heart. She would have survived, if she wasn't human.

Cas went down about half a minute after. Rahab stabbed him in the stomach. It was angled and went right through his heart and spine and out the back. He fell to his knees next you Meg.

The remaining three angels left at once. They knew their targets were useless and basically dead now.

Meg pulled herself up using Cas' coat. She put her hands by his neck, dispite the pain from her right side. Cas, with effort, put his hands on her waist. Blood bubbled at his lips, but not hers. Her death blow had not hit anywhere to make blood come up her throat.

Cas stared at Meg as she prepared her final words.

"We're goin' to heaven, Clarence."

Cas smiled weakly. "Only in the company of you."

Meg laughed. It wasn't even the right words, but they were better than the real ones. Because he said them.

—

They didn't know that they couldn't get into heaven at the moment. So, for about a month, they had to stay there, in the clearing that they died. They saw the police discover their ruined bodies. They saw one officer tear up when she saw how they had been holding each other.

Unfortunately, they also had to see Sam and Dean, dressed as FBI agents, see that they had been killed. They may not have been close to Meg for a while, but they warmed up to her after she turned human. They had traveled together for some time, until the angels fell. Metatron had captured Meg and said that she wasn't really human, that it was just a temporary effect, but that there was a way to keep her human on one of the tablets, which he had imprinted in his brain. Of course, it was a trick, and the angels fell.

The two sets had gone their separate ways. They had called each other about every week, to make sure that the others were still okay, but when Sam and Dean heard that a murdered couple was found in Bismarck, North Dakota, after Cas had told them that they found another angel death in Bismarck, they had to come to make sure.

Cas saw their destroyed reactions when they saw their bodies, and he saw them ask the officers some forced-out questions, including the crying one, before going back to the car and driving away.

When Gadreel discovered Megatron's true intentions and got him locked up, Cas and Meg were sitting in a tree. The truck was splattered with Mihr's blood, but they just kept ignoring it. They were talking about Its a Wonderful Life.

"But why didn't Harry just get out of the pond?"

Meg couldn't stop laughing at Cas. Ever since he had turned human, he seemed to have gotten a refreshing sense of humour. "I don't know! He was young! Probably stupid!"

"Obviously!"

Then, they felt themselves begin to tingle. They looked at each other, knowing exactly what was happening.

Meg stared at Cas, her ghostly eyes beginning to fill with tears.

"We're going to heaven, Clarence!" She said in the old-movie-type voice, her voice sad and happy at the same time, and almost cracking at his perfect nickname.

"Finally."


End file.
